December 2011
other people: I hate sleeping alone. Ugh hold my hand. Kiss me. Cuddle me. Lets do everything together. I need you so much closer. Let's fuck like animals. I love youuUu
me: This isn't Auschwitz, Im not sharing my bed. Stop holding my hand, I can't walk like this and you're spreading my fingers too wide, it hurts. Kissing is spitting in the palm of your hand and then taking your other hand and mashing it into the other. Stop holding me, I can't breathe or move freely. I want to do stuff alone cause that way I don't have to give a shit if you're enjoying it. Why don't you go on vacation for a few weeks? Put it in while Im sleeping, god help you if you wake me. You're okay, just sit over there.
feminist historian: Who I would vote for before I... →
hermione-ganja:
michelle-my-belle:
nom-chompsky:
ouiser-boudreaux:
glossylalia:
isitscary:
femmenoire:
adequategatsby:
Sean Parker
that asshole in The Karate Kid
my dog, Sadie
Will Schuester
Zooey Deschanel’s character in The New Girl
…
Cosmo from the fairly oddparents
This GIF is basically my reaction to everything... →
the-absolute-best-posts:
“Maddie, stop singing Christmas carols!”
“You’re eating a LOT of cookies. Shouldn’t you be watching your weight?”
“Do your homework.”
“Christmas isn’t ‘till the 25th, stop the premature celebration.”
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omegle!
Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: hello
Stranger: how do u do
You: im fine thank you
Stranger: where do u come from?
You: pallet town
Stranger: pallet town?
You: yah
You: pallet town
Stranger: and ur country?
You: hoen
Stranger: u like a pokemon huh?
You: no i love pokemon
You: i catch them
Stranger: a dreamer
You: i wanna be the very best
Stranger: if i may know what's ur name?
You: ash
You: ash ketchum
Stranger: weird
Stranger: u must be a child huh?
You: no im not a child
Stranger: how old r u?
You: 16
Stranger: and u like to play a pokemon?
You: no i dont play pokemon
You: i train pokemon
Stranger: what's ur favourite pokemon?
Stranger: hahaha
You: pikachu
Stranger: I like rayquaza
You: waaah you got catch already??
Stranger: yeah
You: i saw rayquaza last night
Stranger: i catch a kyogre and groudon too
Stranger: it's mine now
You: noo
Stranger: I ride a rayquaza last night
Stranger: u don't see me?
You: so you must be that naked guy wearing the hat?
Stranger: Yeah!
You: omg you are the legendary pokemon trainer
You: whats your name?
Stranger: I'm a secret trainer
You: what kind of a secret trainer
Stranger: How much pokemon do u catch?
You: trainer dnt keep secret
You: i only hav pikachu
Stranger: Ow that's bad!
Stranger: why don't u catch a gengar or the other pokemon?
You: i wanna catch jinx
You: ice pokemon then can put others to frozen solid
Stranger: Jinx have a bad mouth
You: oooh really how you know?
Stranger: I Kiss Him last night
You: omg pokemon dont exist
You: -.-
Stranger: @__@
Stranger: I'm confuse
You: yes you are you not a dude nor a babe
Stranger: i must train my cyndaquil good bye for now
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Did you know it's impossible to say "Good eye... →
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why i like bimbos
helloitisme:
they make me happy
they make me laugh
they are confused
they are gullible
they dont keep track of their time
they make me feel alive
they trust me
they laugh at everything you say
they can keep my secrets for they cant recall what i shared with them
the make me fell smart and intelligent most of the time(ALWAYS)
